How are your friendships?

Do you have friends that are really really your friends?  Friendships that you can go a long time without talking with and when you do talk it’s like you just pick up like you talk all the time.

As we get older our friends come and go.  Some relationships get stronger, some drift away, and some just are there, and everyone is content with that.  The older I get the more I realize what different kinds of friendships there are.

When we are kids, we just make friends

and everyone seems so nice because it’s all about playing and having fun.  Then someone is mean and won’t play with you and you think the world is coming to an end. Oh, it’s such a sad moment during that time. Like so so sad, cry on your pillow sad. Think the world is ending sad. You tell your parents you will never be able to find another friend because that was your best friend in the whole entire world. 

Then we hit teenager age and oh my gosh

Talk about a reality check that just hit you smack in the face!!!  Like hey, emotions, how are you today! 

You think you are just the best of the best and there is no one that is going to bring you down, and I mean no one!!!  You have girl talk, girl gossip, more girl talk, and even more girl gossip.  You are laughing and having a great time, then out of nowhere, BOOM you find out that your girlfriend is actually hanging out and talking to your BOY CRUSH and your world has just crumbled down all around you.

You have that pit in your stomach. Your throat feels like it is on fire. You are fighting back the tears that are now building in your eyes and you don’t want the first drop to roll down your cheek, because then your girlfriends will know that they hit a chord with you. You act like you have to go babysit your sibling (which you normally would not raise your hand to do) but the thought of sitting there any longer gives you such anxiety that making the story up of babysitting is well worth it.

Adult Friends and Relationships are a whole different vocabulary all in itself

Hey, neighbor how are you?  Oh, you don’t want to be friends. Ok, no worries carry on.  Ok, let’s go check out another neighbor.  Knock on the door……. Oh hey, I am your neighbor two doors down.  I would love to get to know you better.  Oh, I am happy to come in, thanks. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere you now have a friend two doors down that you could go to if needed, ask for a cup of flour if you are in a pinch. etc.  

Then you have adult friendships that are within your married friendship circle, your single friendship circle, your work friendship circle, your work friendship circle, and your religious friends. There definitely are other circles but these are a few.  So many friendship circles out there to keep up with.  This is why adult friendships get eliminated after a while.  It just becomes too much to keep up with.  You get busy with life, work, and everyday things that sometimes friends are the first things to go. 

You have that best friend that no matter what happens in life. No matter where you live in the world. No matter what you have going on.  You know without a doubt in your mind, you can call at any time. You might get an ear full because you woke them up, but you also might get an ear full because you didn’t call. You know there is zero judgment. You know that you can tell them anything. They will have your back. They will stand up for you, and they will defend you. They are your true best friend. 

Let’s talk about a work friendship circle

It can be amazing and then it can totally flip and be the biggest nightmare you can ever imagine. Let’s think about this for a minute and talk about it.  

When you spend more time at the office working with your co-workers you can either grow a strong relationship with your co-workers or have this love-hate relationship with them.  I tried to always have a great relationship with the people I worked with.  I knew I would be spending a lot of time with them, and I wanted to create a safe place that we all could hang out at the office, talk to each other, lean on each other, laugh together, cry together, and ask each other for help if needed.  

What I did not ever think would happen is that this safe place that was created and enjoyed, could turn so toxic and divide everyone up. I didn’t realize that it only takes one person that is the bad apple to drip off on others and add poison to the environment.  I couldn’t even wrap my mind around that, let alone ever think about being the one starting that.  I still can’t imagine your life being so miserable that you have to tear others down.  All of a sudden, the work friendship circle is so divided that you don’t even want to return. How does it get to that point?

Does life get busy that we do not cater to friendships and nurturing them that all of a sudden, we start to sabotage them? Do we get so envious of others that we tear them down instead of building each other up?  Take a minute and just think about some of your friendships. Think about a time that you thought things were going so well. Things were busy and happy, then you start to notice a change.  The person’s behavior changes. They start to stay away, not talk as much. When they do talk, they act sneaky. They act weird around you and others. They just seem off.  Can you think of a time this may have happened?

Why do you think female friends are the ones to attack others? Why is it that females feel so threatened by other females? Do they have the fear that they will not be recognized for their efforts? Maybe missing out on a promotion that someone else might get? Fear of not making it to the top? Fear of someone passing them up on the ladder? 

We need to change this in our female work friendship circle.  Imagine if we cheered each other on, encouraged each other more, helped when needed more, celebrated the victories.  Can you even imagine the difference females would make in this WORLD!!!

Female work friendship circle would have a whole new meaning

We would be unstoppable. We could change the way we are viewed in the workforce. It is going to take time to make the change, but if we start with us, that is one female closer to making the change. What can each of us do differently today to make a difference tomorrow?  

TO my friends out there reading this. I am here cheering you on. I am encouraging you to set your vision and dreams. You can do this. You have it in you to do this.  You are a Powerful Kind Woman. Let’s change how we treat each other. Let’s commit to not sabotaging each other, not tearing each other down.  

If I want to see a change, I know it has to start with me.  I am here cheering for you.

XoX0, Dee